Wonderland and Armageddon
by newblackanubis9
Summary: Three years after Wonderland, she comes back with a double life, a new man ? , and more classified secrets than she can count. And no desire to ever see Kakashi again. What she wants means nothing with the threat of world war and exposed secrets. KakXOC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, we all they don't belong to us, because if they could, it would be the catfight from Hell. I lay odds 3 to 1 on myself.

Please review, it's good karma, and you can never have too much good karma. Just like chocolate.

OK, this's the promised sequel, and while I have a vague outline of where I think it might go, I am asking everyone who stuck through Wonderland to give me suggestions, ideas, inspirational pep talks, anything. Those of you familiar with my Blackanubis9 penname know I'm not so great with finishing stories, but with a little inspiration, I have high hopes for being 2 for 2. Besides, I can't give props to people who never review.

Ch 1

Three years later:

She had been careful to return in the middle of the night. Three years had been plenty of time to decide exactly how she wanted to approach Hatake. The plan was simple: reconnaissance. There had never been an exact date set for her to return, so no one would be the wiser if she snuck around the village for a few days to spy on him. When it was finally time for them to talk about what they wanted to do, she wanted it to be on equal footing, and for that she needed some idea of how he had changed.

She wanted so badly to talk to Naruto, to let him know she was back, see what he knew, but the man couldn't keep a secret to save his life. Worst case scenario, Hatake had known him since he was a kid, and she refused to put Naruto in the middle by making him choose where his loyalties were. If she had to, she would give Naruto up, and if she was lucky enough, Hatake would never know she was back. If Naruto ended up being the only precious person she had left, then there was nothing too big to sacrifice to keep him happy. Even if it was herself.

In what had become a habit three years ago, she cursed the Hatake name.

Being gone and learning tricks from other villages, picking up skills here and there was yet again paying off. Knowing Hatake was a master at picking up and identifying others' chakra, she suppressed hers until she was invisible, only using enough to let her body run its' usual processes. She had long ago learned to not depend on chakra on a daily basis, so the inability to use it for a few days was no big deal.

She found an apartment to rent for a week, hoping she would be ready to let everyone know she was back by then. While she wasn't hurting for money, it made more sense to hide in the bad part of town, where people tended to mind their own business. Then it was a simple matter of watching his place. She hadn't obtained the apartment until the early afternoon, so she had to wait for several hours before he returned.

And, oh, the sight of him made her heart leap for a second before splitting in two to join her toes. It had been so much easier to exist when she didn't think of him; being able to finally see him made her feel so many things that she couldn't untangle them. He looked good, that was the first thing her brain decided. Just as sexy as always to her. It wasn't fair that while she had pinned away for the first few months, and the mission keeping her on the road constantly, had whittled her down to the point of being too lean, he seemed to have come out of it just fine. While the logical part of her knew she had to stick to the plan and wait before showing up, she wanted nothing more than to crash through a window and feel his arms around her.

Seeing that the senbon-lover, what was his name… Genma, that was it. Genma was there, so she assumed the night would only show her two shinobi drinking until they passed out. Satisfied that she would learn nothing of value, she set off for the Hokage Tower. There was always the next night.

"Show her in, Shizune."

Tsunade was looking at her expectantly when she walked in, taking a seat directly in front of her Hokage.

"It's been a few years, Kristen. I assume you found your apartment in order; Naruto has been looking after it even though he no longer lives in the building."

"Really? Did he move in with Hinata or something?"

"Hn. They're going to be getting married next year, as soon as she takes over her duties as clan head. I'm surprised you didn't find him before coming here. But you have plenty of time for that, so give me your final report."

Kristen ignored the piercing gaze she was being given, refusing to let her expression give away anything. It was easy to do now; three years of practice made it second nature.

"Lightening is in a state of unrest, with several factions vying for Daimyo and Kage positions. The competition is pretty even across the board, but none of them seem to be worthy of backing. Sound and Mist are already backing those they have made secret alliances with, and obviously they are the worst factions. The situation needs to be very carefully monitored, because I doubt that even if someone gets in power they'll be able to keep it for long. I would suggest waiting and letting the factions eliminate each other before taking any action. It wouldn't do to give Sound or Mist any indication as to our opinion on the politics there, as it would only ensure whoever we gave our support to would end up dead a whole lot faster. Fortunately, Lightening is taking up most of Sound and Mist's attention, so we're off their radar for the time being now that we've made it clear we aren't making a move. There's no way to tell how long it'll last, but I would strongly suggest refraining from any missions into Lightening. Only ANBU or satellites like myself would be able to move around without being caught."

"You have files on the factions?"

"Them and the few loners who have managed to stick around. I gave it to Shizune. I trust you will allow my bodyguard entrance when he arrives?"

Tsunade sat back in her chair and glared at Kristen, irritated at the topic.

"It seems that you have no intentions of letting me do otherwise. All of your previous messages were short and vague when it came to him, so now would be the time to plead his case. You do realize how involved it is to allow a non-Leaf into the village?"

"Yes, I do. But as I told you before, he did not grow up as a shinobi. There will be no issues with prior loyalties, because his loyalty is to me. And the day that stops being the case, he expects me to follow through with my word and cut his throat. I do not deal with betrayal well."

"Obviously, or you would have been here for the last three years."

Kristen's eyes narrowed coldly at the personal remark, one that was presumptious and unwelcome.

"Yes, it seems that the only person I can trust to not hurt me is the only one who had nothing to do with me being here." Kristen let Tsunade's implied guilt set in, and continued only when she saw her Hokage's expression turn dark. "I met Ryuku in Tea. He grew up a farmer, and there's nothing really remarkable about his childhood. I was on a mission to take down a group of bandits that had been pillaging the surrounding area, robbing the farmers once they came back from selling their crops. The number of bandits I was told I would be dealing with was only half of what I actually found. I completed the mission, but I had to take a month to recover at one of the farmer's homes. Ryuku had lost his parents to their raid the year before, and he had been struggling to keep the farm going, even with the help of his neighbors. I spent the month there, helping out as I could, but I could tell he hated it. So, I offered to let him come with me. He could sell his farm in pieces to his neighbors, and I would train him to be my backup. That was two years ago. He has been nothing but unquestionably loyal since, and we owe each other our lives several times. We're even keeping count."

"He has no skills other than as a bodyguard?"

Kristen took a quick look around the room, her chakra flaring out quickly to check for unwanted eyes or ears. Tsunade's eyes widened when she realized what Kristen was doing, even more so when Kristen leaned forward so she only had to whisper.

"The skills of my cover are well known, but every shinobi who has seen him has died. It is vital that his abilites remain in absolute confidence, because if people knew, every nation would be trying to get their hands on him. Because I have made him into the perfect counter of a ninja."

"How?" Tsunade could not quite keep the awe out of her voice.

"Simple." Kristen leaned back and spoke in normal tones. "You are aware that certain summons seem to add their individual characteristics to their summoners, like Orochimaru and Hatake Kakashi, right? Well, I have always found summons to be very fascinating, so I have made it a hobby of mine to learn about them. That's how I got mine, the one I used to keep in touch with you. And I found the perfect one for him." She leaned forward and whispered once again.

"His summoning contract is with Shuikaku, a leech. Not only do the leeches drain the remains of anyone we don't want found, but he took on many of their characteristics. He can leech the chakra used to power techniques to boost his own chakra. As long as he is fighting ninja, he has an unlimited supply of chakra, and they can't figure out why everything they try seems to fail as soon as it hits him. The best part is, because they deal in blood, there is no scroll to carry around, because the contract can only be taken from the body of the summoner, from the actual blood of the summoner." Kristen sat back once again and smiled smugly at the Hokage.

"You see how perfect it is. I only found it by accident, as it is one of the so-called 'lesser' contracts. But it suits my purposes perfectly, and it has gone a long way to keep him alive while I get his skills up to par. He only has a normal amount of chakra, and he heavily favors taijutsu. Being a farmer's boy did his body good."

At Tsunade's raised eyebrow, Kristen leered at her lecherously.

"Hey, I'm single unwillingly, and the boy is gorgeous, so if I'm going to live with eye candy, I'm going to take advantage of it."

Tsunade leaned forward over her desk and leveled a grave expression at her.

"Are you involved with him? In any way?"

"Only as a fellow soldier. He's only 24, and I prefer my men older and knowing exactly what they're doing. Besides, for better or worse, I can't seem to stop loving someone who doesn't deserve it."

They both heard the bitter tone, bordering on resentment.

"Is being in the same village and possibly working missions with him going to be a problem?"

"I'll admit the general plan is to avoid him even knowing I'm back as long as possible, but my feelings have no bearing on a mission, so if it has to be done it won't be a problem. Don't expect me to interact with him before that, though. If I can spend the rest of my life without him seeing me, I'll consider my karma paid in full."

"You love him and have no desire to see him? That doesn't make a lot of sense."

"Hokage-sama, I may love the man, but I have stayed alive on my own for three years by having a very good sense of self-preservation. Hatake-san was a threat to that before I even left. I can't help the fact that my heart is apparently masochistic. I just refuse to let him hurt me again, and the easiest way to keep that from happening is to avoid all contact."

"That include all of Team 7 and Rookie 9?"

"With the exception of Naruto, it includes anyone that is on friendly terms with him. I have Ryuku, he and Naruto are more than enough companionship for me."

"How long before your guard arrives again?"

"Three weeks. The room I rented is big enough for both of us. Hell, I may let him stay in my old apartment, make people think I let it lapse or something. I haven't decided what to do with it yet, but I have time and plenty of money, so I'm not worried about it. I take it you're going to let him in, then? I do require his services when I take off to maintain my satellite status. He has become part of my alias, but I'm sure you know that from the new bingo book."

Tsunade sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You know as well as I do that you are singularly stubborn among shinobi and kunoichi, but I have not had cause to regret indulging in your inclinations yet. Do not make me regret this one, or you will find yourself cursing karma and your heart will find out just how masochistic it really is."

Satisfied with the quick flash of fear she observed in her kunoichi's eyes, she waved her off.

"You will begin mission rotation once your guard gets here, so stay out of trouble until then, and let Naruto know you're back for Kami's sake!"


	2. Catching up

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, we all they don't belong to us, because if they could, it would be the catfight from Hell. I lay odds 3 to 1 on myself.

Please review, it's good karma, and you can never have too much good karma. Just like chocolate. That, and I could always use more inspiration.

Ch 2

She was kunoichi and had beaten many shinobi, killed men who were more skilled than her, had done things she would never tell another soul, and had faced her own death more times than she could count.

So why was she terrified to see Naruto for the first time in three years?

Cursing herself as a coward, she veered off her course and headed for another familiar apartment. It would make the ninth time she had tried to make her feet take her to Naruto's door, and each time they had taken her to Hatake's instead.

As usual, the pervert sensei was reading his novels, and nothing she had observed had showed her that he was unhappy without her. Genma had been there one other time that she had seen, and she was starting to find it curious that the man she had known to be so reclusive had a consistent visitor. Was he becoming an alcoholic? Kristen normally abandoned her recon once Genma arrived, but she stayed this time, curious what was so great about Genma's company that Hatake would actually invite him to his apartment on a regular basis. Perched two alleys away, she held up her scope and watched them drink for a few hours, apparently doing nothing more than drinking and talking. Wishing she had an aptitude for reading lips, something she had absolutely no talent for, she could only laugh at the fact that it definitely made her a stalker if she wanted to cultivate a skill for the sole purpose of spying on her ex. When the two men stood up and moved out of sight, she followed them, wondering why they seemed to be moving to his bedroom.

Hey eyes felt as though they would bulge out of her head when she watched the man she loved take off his clothes, joined on his bed by an equally naked Genma. It only took thirty seconds to confirm that they were going to do exactly what it looked like they were doing, and though she had nothing against gay men, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Kristen had never thought in a million lifetimes that she would ever be watching her former lover suck off another man, much less try to fuck the man beneath him through the mattress. It made her want to retch, and she had to avert her eyes and take several deep breaths to calm her stomach. Hoping against hope that she was merely delirious, or maybe wanting to satisfy her heart's love of causing herself pain, she was incapable of stopping herself from looking back into her scope. Incapable of not zooming in just so she could clearly see the look of ecstasy on Kakashi's face as he bent another man in half and thrust so hard it had to hurt. The look of pleasure she had seen so often when that face had been above hers. And because she had zoomed in so close, she didn't miss the simple kiss the two exchanged when they had both achieved a mutual finish.

Uncaring of the consequences, uncaring if they felt her, uncaring of anything except for getting _the fuck away_, she stood and unmasked her chakra so that she could take off at a speed she rarely used. Uncaring if Hatake's head whipped toward the window in recognition or not.

Her first inclination was to show up at Naruto's door and fall crying into his arms as she knew she could, knowing he would hold her and whisper Kami knew what until she felt ready to face cold reality. And while her feet were finally cooperating in getting her to Naruto's door, the distance was enough to let her get a hold of her feelings. Barely enough. After being gone for three years, she did not want the first thing he saw to be her completely losing it over that bastard, _again._

With control she had earned inch by inch during her travels, she pushed her recent memories to the back of her mind and concentrated on the only thing that mattered at the moment: seeing Naruto.

The look on his face when he opened the door was so welcome and surprised, so guileless, that she couldn't help but cry.

Of course he thought something was wrong, but she quickly assured him that she was only happy to see him, that she hadn't realized how much she had missed him until she had seen his face. The hug seemed to last forever, and Kristen was relieved to know he still smelled the same. A completely random fact made itself known and had her pulling her face back to look at him in absolute incredulity.

"You've gotten so tall!! You're huge now, Naruto!"

One of his arms unwrapped itself from around her waist and the hand rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, a blush spreading to his cheeks. Belatedly she realized how that last statement could have been taken and she took a swipe at his chest, teasing him as a pervert. When he did nothing to deny it, she assumed an exaggeratedly shocked look on her face.

"Wow, I bet Hinata's a very satisfied woman, huh, little brother?! Been to any hot springs lately?"

He met her teasing with a scowl, but the blush remained for a moment before he dragged her inside and slammed the door behind him.

"You're finally back! I thought you wouldn't be coming back, especially when you didn't come back after the two year limit."

He settled them on the couch, and she casually sprawled her legs over his lap, her eyes roaming over his new apartment. It was obvious he lived with a woman now.

"I promised you I would have let you know if I chose to do that, but things came up in Lightening that I had to keep an eye on. I'll still be taking off every once in a while to check up on it. So I hear you're getting married next year! I'm so happy for you, hon."

The smile on his face seemed to touch each ear, and she could plainly see how purely happy he was.

"Yeah. We can't wait. Everyone thinks we've been putting it off until she took over as head of the clan, but we've been stalling until you got back. I didn't want to get married without you there, Kris."

She felt the tears coming, but forced them back. Why was he the only person she couldn't hide from?

"I wouldn't miss it, you know that, Naruto. My little brother's only gonna get married once. So I'm not intruding on anything tonight, I hope?"

"Naw, she's got another night of clan business. How long you been back?"

"Couple weeks. I've been busy with debriefing and making arrangements for stuff."

"You seen him?"

The question was quiet and hesitant, but she couldn't tell if it was because he was reluctant to bring up the topic, or because he knew what his old sensei was doing. Who he was doing.

"Enough to know I apparently don't have the right parts anymore."

"It's not what you think, Kris."

"Well, he's not mine, so I don't have to think anything about it. He can do whatever he wants because it's not my business anymore. And it's not his what I do." She sighed and sat up, pulling her legs away from him and tucking them under her. "I don't want to put you in the middle of us, Naruto, so the easiest way that I can see is to make sure he doesn't know I'm here. I mean, it's not like he wants to see me anyway, but I'd rather keep the awkwardness one-sided. So, I guess what I'm asking you to do is not tell anyone but Hinata I'm here. I don't want _anyone_ to know, but I wouldn't want you to have to keep anything from your future wife. I'm going to be in and out of the village, so it's not like I'll be hiding in my apartment, so it's not like I'm really back all the time… I need to know if you can do that for me or not."

"You don't want anyone but me to know you're here?" he asked slowly, as though he couldn't quite understand what she was asking. When she nodded, he gave her a look that told her he clearly thought she was acting childishly.

"Maybe you should let me tell you what's happened here for the last three years before asking something like that from me. I get that you're probably a little bitter and you have every right to be, I'm just asking that you be fair. I'll do it if you really want me to, but there are things you don't know, Kris. At least hear me out first."

"Ok, but can we do it tomorrow or something? It's kinda late and I only came to see you, not hash over my dusty sex life."

"Sure. I don't have a mission for another two days, so why don't you stay and crash on the couch? We can make a day of it tomorrow, go up to the monument or something?"

"That sounds like fun. But I want to get used to my new apartment, so I'll just come by in the morning."

"Wait, you aren't staying in your apartment? Oh, yeah, you don't want anyone knowing you're here. Ok, I'll see you in the morning, then. Maybe start off the day with a spar, real early? Like four?"

"You get up early now? I'll do it just to see it with my own eyes."

He shoved her off the couch with a roll of his eyes, huffing under his breath at her laughter. He followed her to his door and pulled her into another tight hug.

"I'm really glad you're back. I've missed you, sis," he mumbled into her hair.

"No more missions that last years. I can't be away from my little brother that long; it hurt after a while," she reassured him. It came out more like a confession than she intended, but the fact that he immediately crushed all of the air out of her lungs showed that it was appreciated. Then the door was suddenly in front of her instead of behind her back, and she blinked rapidly to figure out when she had moved. His good-natured grin beamed at her from the other side of the doorway.

"Now go home and sleep. You'll need it if you're going to spar with me tomorrow!" The door closed, and it took her another couple of seconds before she scoffed and took off, grumbling about the true meaning of the word cocky.

They sat at the same spot they had over three years ago, looking out over the village. Bento boxes were piled high behind them, a testament to the intensity of their earlier training session. She sat between his legs, leaned back against his chest. They had been talking idly for a few hours, nothing of a serious nature, merely catching up on her adventures, those she could share.

"Hungry?"

"No." She looked up at him suspiciously. "Why do you keep asking me that? That has to be the third time in as many hours. Are _you_ hungry or something?"

"No, but you are skinny. I know you lived the lifestyle of a missing nin, basically, but you look like a skeleton. Did this guy, Ryuku, not take care of you?"

"He took great care of me, but there wasn't always food, and hardly ever enough for two. Lightening has very few exports for a reason, babe. I'll get it back, but I'm not going to eat like a pig just because a rib or two's showing."

She ignored his grumble about all of them showing, knowing it was because he was worried. She was too lean, she knew that, had been told by Tsunade to gain at least twenty pounds, but after being at that weight for over two years, she felt no great hurry to stuff her face every hour on the hour to satisfy others. It also was helping people who knew her by sight to not recognize her, and she wasn't quite ready to give up that advantage.

"So when'm I going to meet him, anyway?"

"He'll be here in a week or so. He'll be staying with me at least in the beginning, but he might take my old apartment. I think you two will get along great, especially when he meets Sasuke. He's gonna hate him. Hell, I can't wait to see it, even if I have to peek around the corner to watch it."

"But he is really only your partner, right? Nothing more?"

"Why is it that people can't understand a man and a woman being partners without fucking? Tsunade asked me that too. The man is eight years younger than me, and he may not be a brother like you are, but I'm not exactly ready for a relationship with a guy. I'm still getting burned from Hatake."

"Well, I don't know about that. I'm assuming you've seen him with Genma, right?"

"Yes, but I really don't want to know that my ex is now gay, ok, Naruto? It hurts a woman's ego like you wouldn't believe. Do we have to talk about him at all?" She was whining, and she didn't care if she sounded like she was three, because she didn't have to censor what she said around him.

"You said you'd be fair, and I know you're big on being fair, so don't be a hypocrite. You told me what your three years have been like, now it's my turn. And I told you I wouldn't agree to not telling anyone without you hearing me anyway, so shut up and let me catch you up."

She couldn't help but grin at his stern lecture, loving how he was enough of family to keep her ass in line even when she wanted to punch him in the face for it at the same time.

"You're right, as usual." She faced forward and made a big show of snuggling her back into a comfortable position against his chest. "Proceed."

"Thank you so much for the official blessing," he said sarcastically. "Anyway, I proposed to Hinata about a year and a half ago, but she knew I wanted to wait however long it took for you to get home. She's been very understanding about it, because she's very anxious to have Uzumaki as her name. Sakura and Sasuke popped out a couple of kids, a boy a year after you left, another boy about eight months ago. I swear teme didn't sleep for a year between Sakura's pregnancy and the baby never sleeping for more than five minutes. I kept telling him that's what he got for being such a bastard when he was younger, but now I'm not allowed on the estate for some reason unless they want a babysitter. Go figure." He laughed along with her, she at the thought of him as a babysitter to a tiny Sasuke, Naruto at being kicked out for the rest of his life. Naruto would never tell her, but he loved the sound of her laugh.

"Sakura's still at the hospital, and now that she's got kids, she had to leave ANBU, but Sasuke's still in it. I made captain last year, and Tsunade said she plans to make me her official successor in a few more years."

"Wow, really?! You like being captain?"

His entire face lit up, and while she would never admit she zoned out the next few minutes of his excitedly yammering on and on about how great it was to be at the top in ANBU, it was the sound of his voice that she was paying attention to, the lilts and dips in pitch that were unable to keep the excitement hidden. Not that he was trying to, but he was fairly vibrating in his desire to express how much he loved his new position.

She merely sat there and soaked up his happiness; vicarious happiness was better than none.

"It took him six months to realize you were gone."

She snapped herself out of her near-meditation state, the low murmuring intensity of his statement startling her. Kristen could hear the pain in his voice.

"He came and asked me if I had seen you. I guess he had been keeping his eye on you from time to time, especially when he found out we never saw you anymore. He was afraid you'd isolated yourself out of some sense of honor, something about not making us choose between you and him. And while the first part was definitely true, although I don't know about the second, I'd had plenty of time to think things through, and I think I figured out what you were trying to do. It made sense. Get us used to not seeing you, then when you were gone, most people would never notice. Sasuke and Sakura didn't. That's why you told me, isn't it? Because I was the only person left that cared about you?"

Kristen could only nod fiercely, trying desperately not to cry. It continued to frustrate her that she was still not used to her loneliness after a few years. She should have had control of it by now.

He hugged her harder, knowing she wanted to feel swallowed by him, to feel safe and sheltered for a moment.

"I made the mistake of telling him that. I… think it broke him. Maybe if even a little. I wish I hadn't said anything, because I think he believes you're never coming back."

"Because of him, right?" she choked out.

"Yeah. He's been different ever since. He drinks a lot more, he goes out on every S-class mission baa-chan will give him, and the only time he talks is when it's business."

"Why is he doing this? I thought… he never showed he wanted anything to do with me, so why is he acting like this?" She was horrified to know that he had reverted to something much worse than when she had first met him. Sure, his rejection had been the motivation for taking the mission, but it was the fact that she had essentially run away, hadn't been brave enough to deal with everyday life, had been enough of a coward that her actions had changed him so drastically that pained her so.

Even though he was the younger of the two by several years, he suddenly understood what it felt like to have a younger sibling, to have the urge to protect them anything hurtful. Naruto pulled her onto his lap sideways, letting her head fall onto his shoulder as he rubbed her back in a futile attempt to comfort her. For all her actions, he knew she loved the Copy Nin as much as she did three years ago, and he could only imagine the guilt she must have been feeling.

"I saw him one night at a bar, and he was more drunk than I'd ever seen him; I had to practically carry him home. I don't really think he knows he was talking to me, he was kinda rambling. He told me he only wanted you to be happy, not to make your life the hell he thinks it is. He kept saying he didn't deserve to be happy, not if he chased you away. He kept saying that if he went out on enough missions, maybe one day he wouldn't come back, and then you could get me back, have the family he robbed you of. I told baa-chan and she limited the number of S-class missions he could take. That's when he started drinking."

"I see where you're going with this, hon, but it still means nothing. Not when he's screwing Genma three times a week."

Naruto's head jerked towards her, surprise and suspicion lighting his features.

"And how do you know how often Kaka-sensei's getting laid? You been stalking him or something?"

"Recon, baby brother. I noticed Genma going by a few times a week, but it wasn't until the night I showed up at your door that I actually figured out why he was there. So it makes sense that every time I saw Genma, he was there to get nailed, so it's about three times a week. If that makes me stalkerish, then so be it. I wouldn't have done it if I still didn't care about him, even though now I really wish I don't."

"I really think you should talk to him before assuming you know what's going on, Kris."

Kristen shot to her feet, exasperated with him and trying valiantly not to lose her temper on someone who only wanted what he thought was best for her. She couldn't hold it against him that what he thought was best was exactly what she was trying to avoid.

"You keep saying shit like that, Naruto. 'It's not what I think', 'don't assume you know what's going on', and yet you won't come out and say what you mean. If you know something you think I should know, then tell me, but I'm not going to stick my nose into his life when, with the exception of guilty actions, I have no place in it. I'll talk to him about his guilt, let him know he doesn't have to keep up this insane goal of killing himself, but that's the only thing that involves me. If you know something, say it Naruto."

Naruto had remained on the ground, watching her pace in front of him, looking strangely wise in the face of her anger.

"It's a rumor that's been going around for a couple of years. Take it for what it's worth, but the rumor is that when it comes to women, any women, Kakashi isn't interested. Whether that means his taste has changed to men, or he's with Genma because he can't do it with women, that no one knows. You know which of the two I would think it is, and if that's it, then all I can say is: that tells you all you need to know about the great Playboy Hatake. If he can't do it with any other woman because you're the only one he wants, then what more do you need to know, sis?"

"So you're seriously suggesting he's fucking Genma because he can't do anyone that isn't me?"

"Pretty much. It's just a rumor, but he's been with Genma for about a year, and they sure as hell aren't dating, because Genma usually has at least three women on his line at a time. Genma fits Kakashi in when he can, because I think Genma's the closest friend Kakashi has left. Of course, no one has ever caught them, so the two of them are also just a rumor. The only reason I know is because of my nose, and this one time Kakashi was too hung over to wash off Genma's smell. And I haven't told anyone but you."

"Well, I guess that's kinda sad, but I hope you don't expect me to throw myself at him like everything's forgiven. You know me better than that."

"I know. I wouldn't even ask you to. I'm just asking you to keep an open mind. You aren't the only one who's suffered the last three years. I'm not saying your pain is less than his, Kris, you know that's not what I mean, I just don't want you to dismiss his."

She looked down at him for a moment, blocking his sight of the sun and her face. With an explosive sigh she plopped back down into his lap, ignoring his grunt of objection.

"Fine. I'll be fair. That's all I can promise. So will I be your best man at the wedding?"

The conversation turned to lighter and easier directions, and the rest of the day seemed to fly by for the both of them, quicker than they would have liked.


	3. Kashi and Vanilla again

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, we all they don't belong to us, because if they could, it would be the catfight from Hell. I lay odds 3 to 1 on myself.

Please review, it's good karma, and you can never have too much good karma. Just like chocolate. That, and I could always use more inspiration.

CH 3

When Naruto arrived home late that night, he was surprised to see Kakashi waiting by his door. Cursing under his breath when he realized he had promised to lie, he only had time to quickly hope his acting skills had gotten vastly better; Kakashi was the 'underneath man', after all.

"Hey, Kakashi, it's good to see you. How have you been?" It was laughable how hard it was to remember what a normal conversation was supposed to be like. Why was it a person could never remember how to talk normally when there was something to hide?

"Yo." Kakashi waited patiently for Naruto to open his front door, showing no inclination to talk until he was inside.

"Oookay. Want some tea? Hinata'll be home pretty soon, and you're welcome to stay for dinner if you want." He realized quickly that Hinata still didn't know Kristen was back, and if Kakashi were to ask any questions when she was there, the surprise on her face would only lend believability to his lies.

"No, thank you. I have a question for you and then I have an appointment. I want you to be honest, Naruto, because you know I'll know if you're lying." Kakashi sighed, as though to steel himself against saying her name.

"Is Kristen back?"

Naruto tried his best to look surprised while putting out cups for tea, throwing himself into his performance.

"No, I haven't heard anything, haven't gotten a letter from her for about three months. But that's normal, so I wouldn't worry about it. She's been out there for three years, Kakashi, I'm sure she can take care of herself. I told you she won't take off forever without letting me know, she promised me, and she's hasn't said anything about it yet. She hasn't even mentioned any place that's caught her eye, or anything else that would make me nervous."

Naruto took a breath to try and steer the conversation to Kakashi and his concern over how messed up his old sensei was becoming, but when he looked back up, Kakashi was gone.

Naruto sank down into one of his chairs and sighed, suddenly exhausted.

"I did it, Kristen. I hope you know what you're doing."

Hinata walked in through the front door with a bag of groceries in her hands, the smile and greeting on her face and lips dropping once she took a look at him. Dropping the groceries, she rushed over to him and grabbed his hands, sitting in the chair next to him.

"Naruto? What's wrong? D-did something happen?"

He pulled her onto her feet and hugged her, burying his face in her stomach, impulsively grateful beyond words to have someone who loved him so completely and knew just how to hug him and make him feel better.

"Yeah. Let's make dinner and I'll tell you what happened."

"Hai." Hinata could feel how upset he was, how eratic his chakra was flowing, so when he did not immediately let go of her, she let him hold onto her until he was ready to let go, however long he needed.

There was no moon to speak of, and the few stars that shone couldn't be helped, so after informing the gate of the expected arrival, she waited just outside of sight of the gate. While she had told Tsunade that his arrival was a guess and not narrowed down to a specific time and date, that had been a lie. Kristen knew exactly when Ryuku was arriving, as she knew when his chakra was within a few miles of Konoha. After living with someone 'in the shit' for two years, knowing where they were was second nature to her. And because she had lived with him constantly for two years, she could not help but let out an enormous grin when he finally came into view; she had missed his company dearly for the last three weeks. Even in the distance it was obvious he was a giant, and she was only increasingly dwarfed by him as he got closer. She closed the last few feet at a run and threw herself at him, laughing when he spun her around in circles.

"Man, I've missed you! It sucks living alone when you've gotten used to having someone around all the time. Although I bet you loved having the chance to get laid without worrying about them getting approved by me first, huh?"

Ryuku's chuckle washed over her, and she caught herself nearly closing her eyes to enjoy the sound of it.

"Like I ever listened to you before, anyway?"

She punched him half-heartedly on a shoulder, and they both knew that when he put her back down on the ground and rubbed it, he felt it.

"Maa, Kristen-chan, I've been here for two minutes and you're already hurting me! You aren't a med nin, remember? I have to heal them the slow way, no matter how good you think you're getting at healing chakra."

She spun around and walked toward the gate, crossing her arms over her chest and pointing her nose in the air.

"I'll remember that the next time I save your ass. It is my turn, after all."

Ryuku closed the distance between them and spun her around before she had a chance to react, throwing her over his uninjured shoulder. Ignoring her screeched protests, he headed for the gate in plain view with his bag slung over his sore arm.

"Now, you know I don't like being up this early now that I'm not a farmer anymore, so why don't you show me to our new digs and I can finally get some sleep. You didn't exactly give me a lot of time to catch up to you, not if I was going to be here today."

"Fine. Take a left up ahead. And I gave you plenty of time to get here." She waved merrily at the gate guard, who gave her a strange look before snickering. "It's not my fault you can't say no to anything with shaved legs - No, my left. I swear to Kami if you were in charge of our finances I would already be in debt. Why can't you just suddenly grow some charm and get it for free?"

"And how does one 'grow charm', Kristen-chan?"

"I don't know! I figured if I worded it like a farming thing you could figure it out. Right here. No, my right. Jeez, like I'm going to spin my head around while I'm upside down so I can give you better directions? I am blonde, remember? It'll make my head pop off or something; I'm doing well with being carried and carrying on a conversation at the same time. Blondes can't do two verbs simultaneously, remember?"

Ryuku gave a hearty slap to one side of her butt and grinned at the shriek he got in return.

"I keep telling you those blonde jokes are lost on me, too foreign culture 'n shit. And why would saying anything as a 'farming thing' miraculously mean I can suddenly do it?! Every time you don't want to explain something, you tell me to grow it. You know that pisses me off, so don't complain about your ass smarting; you've got it coming to you, Kristen-_sensei_."

He barely caught the derogatory comment about a green thumb, and he answered immediately with a full-force swing to the other side of her butt. Her back arched nearly to the point of her standing upright in his arms, a pained yell echoing off buildings.

"OWWW! That hurt you caveman! Stop getting off on spanking me!"

His booming laugh and her pain-induced anger was enough to make her lose her temper. Furious, she pounded on his back, only realizing how immaturely she was behaving when his laughter got worse. Knowing anyone watching was probably highly enjoying her hissy fit, she settled for pinching his butt as hard as she could. The two feet of air they got when he jumped, along with a yelp in an octave much higher than she seriously thought he could manage, was extremely satisfying to her hurt pride.

"Don't make me drop you," he growled venomously.

"Oh, come on, now I have to be a bitch and demand a ride on your shoulders."

"If it'll keep us from another ass war, be my guest. And please tell me we're almost there; I'm going to be so damned tired by the time I get done carrying your heavy ass on my shoulders."

She flipped herself expertly around his head, her legs flying around to perch around his neck. His body automatically corrected for the rotating weight, obviously used to her doing so.

"We're almost there. Couple more blocks. And what does it matter if I have a fat ass, which I don't, because I was ordered to gain like twenty pounds. So you better enjoy the load as it is, buddy, because this ass is only getting heavier, so it's a good thing you're so big, huh? Big, strapping young man like yourself can take it."

"Twenty pounds!? This's your last ride, I swear! How many people do you know that can carry a woman of your height around like they were five! It's one thing when you're a sack of potatoes, but you're a little old for riding on my shoulders, don't-"

"Shit! Run!"

He bent over just far enough for her to hop off his shoulders and followed her as she sped off in a blur. It seemed to take only seconds before she was leading him up stairs and through a door, and only when it was closed did she relax and sink against the wall.

"What the hell just happened, Kristen? I thought we were safe here?" he demanded, throwing his bag onto the floor and glaring at her venomously. She rolled her eyes.

"You are. My ex was almost close enough to feel my chakra because I forgot to mask it. The last thing I want is for him to know I'm back."

"Well, won't he still feel us in here?" his voice had taken on a decidedly patronizing tone, as though he were talking a child through a simple math problem.

She shook her head and grabbed his bag, tossing into the spare bedroom before making sure all the curtains were closed in the apartment all the while pointedly ignoring his attitude.

"No, I've got suppressors all around the windows and doors. It's not total coverage, but enough that you'd have to be within a few yards to know who's in here. This is the other side of town from where he lives, so it should be fine. I don't know why he's here at this time of night."

Ryuku stood back up from having buried his head in the fridge, a sandwich in one hand. He gave her a familiar frown and she threw her hands in the air, already knowing what he was going to say.

"Don't say it! Not tonight, Ryuku! It has nothing to do with trust, I just like to keep the number of people who know the completely embarrassing details of my failed relationship to a minimum, thank you. Because the only person that was embarrassed was me, not him! And only one other person knows what happened besides the two of us, and maybe I'll tell you one day, but until you manage to get me that drunk without passing out you're just going to have to deal with the fact that I'm not ready to look at those painful memories that I wish I could get amnesia for." Ryuku put a finger in the air, his mouth open to say something before she beat him to it. "And I know I'm rambling, but just talking about the subject makes me think about things I don't want to remember, so please just drop it! You know I trust you, Ryuku, that's never been in question for me, I just have a hard time not getting depressed when I think about him. It's hard enough being back here as it is."

He put his sandwich down on the counter and wrapped his thick arms around her, knowing she needed the comfort and also trying to apologize for the tears filling up her eyes. He had never seen them fall, no matter what the situation his Kristen would never stoop to crying, but it still took a lot to get her to her limit. And he seemed to have done it fairly easily that night, so he held her and whispered his apology into her hair, not complaining when the fingers holding onto his back began to draw blood.

Ryuku would never stop being fascinated by her. She seemed to only have two moods: emotionless and five-year-old. He hated it when she became emotionless, as it was prone to last for weeks and was always accompanied by silence on her part. It had taken him quite a few months of knowing her to realize that her two settings were all a cover, a mask hiding who she really was. It had confused him greatly, as the person he had first met looked vastly different from who she now looked like, but he eventually understood that her two moods were part of that alias. He had only seen the real her on a handful of occasions at first, but it had been enough to know that she was more emotional than she let on. Whatever had happened here had changed her; it was the only way he could explain how she was almost two different people. While he had no problem with the personality of her alias, he much preferred who she really was as a person. Kristen, not Akira, was someone he trusted with his life, hopes, dreams, and all the dirty little secrets he would never want anyone else to know. Akira was only to be trusted with his life; it was hard to trust someone who wasn't really real, which could be confusing for him to rationalize.

He never voiced his concerns, but he was worried that she would have a hard time going back to being Kristen, as he had seen progressively fewer glimpses of the real her over the past six months. The longer they had been in each other's company, the more she had shown him the real her when they were alone. Kristen had unknowingly shown him that it was a relief for her to simply be herself, to drop the weight of pretending to be something she wasn't, and she had quickly gotten used to that relief, to him. Ryuku wanted to assume it was the stress of coming back to her home village that was making her hide herself, that maybe she missed her brother, but he honestly feared the problem was a lot deeper than that. Ryuku knew himself well enough to acknowledge a small part of him was hurt that she couldn't trust him enough to relax around him even when they were alone, as she always had, but he was realistic enough to see that because she was back in her home village, all their previous habits were meaningless. The fact that he hoped she would have needed to be herself around him all the more, that he wanted to help her by being her stress release when she was surrounded by anxiety, had nothing to do with the fact that he was in unfamiliar territory. He had no idea how to deal with her when she was more Akira than Kristen; he had been the reason she became more herself, so he had never known there was a difference until Akira was only brought out for business. The fact that she was only showing the fake personality of her alias in her home village was something he was obviously very concerned about. He would have assumed Akira would be dropped as something unneeded, as she had made it very clear to him that no one in the village was to ever know what her cover was. Therefore, to his reasoning, she was putting herself at risk by using that personality while in the village.

Yet another thing on his list of things to discuss with her brother when she introduced them.

His musings were cut short when she gave a shuddering breath and relaxed her fingers, letting her arms fall to his waist limply. With a long-suffering sigh, he picked her up and carried her into his bedroom, having rightly guessed that she would give him the larger room with the bigger bed.

Still exhausted himself, he eased her down on the bed as though she would shatter and collapsed down beside her, pulling her to his chest. The chance of eating the sandwich still waiting for him in the kitchen was abandoned. Feeling the lure of sleep too great to ignore any longer, he only made time to kick his sandals off before closing his eyes, knowing she would sleep longer than him.

She always did when she was pushed to the point of tears.

The next morning she tried her best to act as though nothing had happened, and even though her tone of voice often fell short or seemed fake in its' sincerity, it was enough for them to pretend that she had not had a moment of weakness the night before.

They set out following a pattern they had established during their years together. She would go out and get supplies while he cleaned; she hated cleaning. Kristen had told him once that she did too much cleaning in her previous life, which of course he did not understand. Did she believe in reincarnation? Was she referring to her life in Konoha before she met him?

When she returned she seemed to be truly fine, so once she was finished separating their groceries into his and hers (less fighting about who ate the last something or other), they set out scouting. This was the most important part of their routine: finding a place to train unnoticed. Being in a shinobi village, he expected it to be almost impossible to find such an area, but she seemed to have it all figured out. When he asked where they were going, she only snickered. They passed an open stadium, the building next to it quite large but still dwarfed by the stadium. She led him behind the building and into a forest so dark it seemed to be night no matter how bright the sun. They had not gone into the forest for long before she stopped to grab a kunai and check her weapons.

"OK, this's where we'll be sparring. Only jonin and ANBU train here unless they have exams, so we don't have to worry about pesky kids snooping around. The cool thing about this place is that there are lots of things in here looking for its' next meal, some of them big enough to have chakra, so even if there are shinobi here, they'll probably think we're just another critter. But that's also the bad news, because all the animals in here are hungry. So watch your back and mine. If you ever come here alone and feel more than one chakra, run. They will team up on you. And don't ever come here without a weapon on hand and as many backups as you can carry, because they seem to disappear in here somehow as soon as you throw them. Still haven't figured out where they go," she muttered more to herself.

"So are we going to train today? Not to sound like a slacker, but if we're going to be here a while, I was hoping to check out the village, find us a watering hole."

"Sure, I got something to take care of today anyway. Just make sure the bar's a dive and in our neighborhood. It's too bad this place doesn't have any whore houses that I know of, but if anyone can find out for sure, it would be you, huh?" She snorted at the proud grin he threw at her, puffing out his chest comically. She led them back out of the forest, only putting away her kunai when they were alongside the building.

"Alright, you go have fun and find me a place where they don't water down the sake. I honestly don't know how long my errand will take, so I might be home late."

"Going to find a man toy? Or maybe a woman? I'm still hoping you'll take me up on my offer of a three-some. I do have a lot of stamina, thanks to you. Even you need to get laid every once in a while, and I'm young and willing. No commitment, no strings, and no need for me to hunt you down later for a booty call. 'Cause baby, I know where you live. "

Kristen shook her head, knowing he was only joking.

"Oh, sugar, you may have stamina, but not enough for me. One of the perks of being older and more experienced. Another perk is knowing that a 'booty call' is only satisfying to a guy. So your best bet is to wait until I get drunk enough and actually find a woman I like. Then, if you're lucky, you can watch; it's the best you're going to get from me."

"Good enough. I'll make sure our watering hole has good looking women, 'cause I'm going to hold you to that."

Kristen laughed at the slightly glazed look in his eyes, as he was obviously trying to picture her with another woman. She even thought she spotted a little drool in the corner of his mouth.

"Fair enough. It's your turn to make dinner. I'll be on time if I can find who I'm looking for, but if not, leave me the leftovers and I'll eat them when I get back."

Ryuku stopped dead in his tracks, his gut telling him something he didn't like at all. He turned on her, every line of his body screaming aggression.

"You're going to look for _him_, aren't you? Why in the hell are you looking for him when we were running from him last night?! That doesn't make any sense, Kris!"

"I know. That's why I spent all morning thinking about it." She approached a sidewalk bench and pushed him onto it, plopping down beside him and draping her legs over his. He recognized it as her signal to have a serious talk; she always needed to have physical contact when talking about things she had a hard time discussing. "It just seems like I've been acting pretty childish by trying to avoid him and pretend he doesn't exist, pretending that I was the only one hurt. I've heard some things about him, and if they are true, then I have to talk to him and set some stuff straight. I'm not going to do something stupid like jump his dick or act like nothing ever happened, but I can't run away from him. I'm going to take Naruto with me just in case, because he knows how to twist me around his finger. He really doesn't know that he can or that he's doing it, but there are certain things I'm not ready to talk about with Hatake, and he wasn't the smartest man when it came to realizing neutral territory; it's why I'm taking Naruto. So I've got a backup plan and I know what I want to talk about, so it'll be ok. I think I really need to do this for me, so I'm not hiding in my own village. I can tell you're worried about me, but I'm trying to do something about it, and I promise not to come home all fucked up tonight, ok? Besides, I am a big girl, and I have you to make sure I don't go all emo and shit."

Ryuku glared at her for a moment, his hands unconsciously tightening on her knee and ankle, but the glare and holds eased when he gave in, easily recognizing from the look in her eyes that it was an issue he would not be able to sway her on. She made no mention of the forming bruises she could feel on her ankle and knee, knowing his hands were always his first tell-tales of stress. And because every time it seemed that she was the cause of his stress, she took the bruises without complaint, finding it fitting as a punishment.

"Fine. I just wish you'd tell me what the hell an emo is one of these days. I hate it when you make these references that I totally do not understand and then refuse to explain them."

"I know you do, but it keeps you around hoping that I will one day." She stood up and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly before slapping it spontaneously.

"Oh, and I'll talk to Naruto and figure out when you two can meet; I know you two are dying to get together and talk about me like two old gossips." She disappeared in a burst of green leaves, leaving him to his frustrations with her stubbornness and not a little apprehension. He knew only too well that Hatake seemed to be the only person that could make her fall apart, and for her to seek him out struck him as asking to get hurt.

The last place she looked for him was at home. By then both she and Naruto were at the end of their patience, especially Naruto, who was less than willing to be her excuse to bail out on a conversation he knew they needed to have. He thought she was being a coward but kept it to himself. He of all people knew love made you do things you never thought possible. But, being the loyal brother he was, he perched himself several rooftops away and watched for her signal, fervently hoping it would never come.

She was silent as Kakashi let her in and retreated to the kitched to start tea, both awkward and uncertain around the other. When he brought it in and set it on the table, they sat across from each other and took automatic sips, she looking around and trying to get her thoughts together, he watching her over the rim of his cup.

He surprised her by speaking first.

"You look well."

"Thanks," she said over the rim of her tea cup. "We both know I'm too skinny, but I'm under orders to gain weight, and now that I'm not on the road all the time, I'll get it back eventually. You don't look so good, thought, Hatake-san. I've heard you've been running yourself ragged; it's why I stopped by."

"Oh? How long have you been back?" He had to have known he wasn't fooling anyone with his attempt at subtlety. If he didn't before, she gave him a look that let him know for sure.

"Long enough. I'll be honest. I'm not here to talk about things that happened years ago, I'm here because Naruto's worried about you, and what he told me was enough to worry me as well. It looks like some of his worries are justified."

She knew the second her words were the wrong words, the second he shut down on her, saw the flicker of disappointment just before his face became neutral.

"You don't need to worry about me, Kristen-san. I've just been busy lately."

"Hatake, let's cut the crap and sayt it like it is. I've been told you're taking every S-class mission you can get your hands on, and when Tsunade-san limited you on those, you began drinking. I don't expect you to just spill your guts or bare your soul, but if this's about me, then I want to know. I don't want you doing this because you feel the need for penance or to make something up to me. I don't want you to live like this."

"I'm not something you need to wory about I've been just fine, and I assure you I'm not doing anything because of guilt. Naruto is seeing what isn't there."

His voice remained completely placid, almost condescending in its' monotones. His robotic answers designed to placate were starting to piss her off.

"C'mon Kakashi! It's so obvious! Look, we aren't together anymore, and we haven't seen each other in years, but I will always care about you. It worries me to see you like this, whatever your reasons are." She stood up and paced in front of the table, her hands clenched in her hair rightly before smoothing it back out. She approached his side of the table and sat down, keeping just out of his personal space. His lack of emotional response pissed her off greatly; for someone who was destroying themselves for her sake, he was not too eager to talk with her.

"What do you want from me? I know you're doing this to yourself because of me, so you want to know why? Fine, I'll tell you what you did to me!!" It may have been almost four years since she had seen him, and he may have been trying to hide his feelings, but something in his eye told her she had hit the source of his self-hatred. A gleam that told her he was paying close attention to her next words when he had been practically tuning out everything else.

"You hurt me, yes." She ignored the pained and strangely gleeful twinge of his eye. "I wanted to work things out and I thought you just needed time. I have you time, and even if you had decided we were done, I tried to make it very clear that I expected you to tell me. Even if I found out because you'd picked up some chick, while not the way I would hope to get an answer, I still told you I deserved an answer. But I got nothing. Wait, that's not right. I got avoidance. I made my wish to still have you as a friend _at the very least_ quite clear, and seeing that we were friends way before we got together, I wasn't asking for the impossible. It might've taken a little work, but I thought you were worth a little effort. And within a week you were gone. Did you think I'd go all psycho-ex on you?! I wasn't even your ex yet!" She practically stumbled in her haste to put some space between them. It was incredibly hard to be close to the man she secretly still loved and act as though it weren't true. Especially when talking about the one subject she had wanted to steer clear of. In an attempt to salvage whatever dignity she had left from her obvious retreat, she braced herself against a wall and took several deep breaths. Kristen knew that one gesture would bring Naruto barrelling into the apartment with a reason for her to leave, but it was ironically that very assurance that gave her the courage to stay. There was also the fact that if either of them were to have any chance of moving on, together or separately, there were certain things that needed to be gotten out in the open.

When she spoke, her voice was calm, but even though she was trying for a rational recitation of facts, she cursed when it came out more like a reluctant confession.

"You made the choice to leave me hanging for almost a year, you decided to let the council influence our lives, and you decided to completely cut me out of your life without any explanation. So yes, you hurt me. And yes, I left. I needed time to regroup, find myself again after being one of those pathetic women who just couldn't take a hint. One of those weak females that I swore I would never be in a million years, that I let myself become. But Kakashi, it was my choice to leave."

He turned his head away from her, not interested in hearing her justify his blame into being her own. She shot off the wall and grabbed his arm, careful not to act aggressive or let her frustration carry into her voice.

She was careful not to let show the shiver that tingled down her spine at the feel of unyielding, _familiar_ muscles underneath her fingers.

Kristen also didn't let on that she felt those muscles twitch at the contact.

"Don't you turn away from me, Kakashi. You wanted the truth and that's what I'm trying to give to you." She sighed and let go of his arm, ignoring how warm he felt.

"Kakashi, let me see your Sharingan."

He gave her a look clearly stating she was crazy and asking for something she sure as hell wasn't going to get. A look she ignored.

"You take that hitai-ate off and look at me. I don't want you to use any lame-ass excuses for not believing what I'm saying, because if you're going to brush off everything I say there is no point in me being here, is there? I'm trying to talk to you, or at least at you, but if you still want to have nothing to do with me, please tell me and I'll go. But I will not be disrespected as some silly female who doesn't know her own mind." She leaned her back up against the table, her elbows propped on either side, waiting. When a few minutes had gone by without any acknowledgement, she wordlessly stood and made to leave. She kept hoping he would stop her, but when she reached his door she gave up hope. The knob was in her hand and turning when she heard him whisper for her to wait. She cursed her heart for skipping in her chest, trying to appear calm and in control as she reclaimed her seat next to him. She refused to show her surprise when she looked at him and saw his naked face. He had taken off everything, and she saw the gesture for what it was.

She waited until she saw the lazy spinning of his seldom-seen eye before turning sideways on the seat, uncaring that his knees cradled the outside of hers. After a quick decision that taking one of his hands would be too close for his comfort, she settled for resting her hands on his knees. She alternated between his own eye and the Sharingan, knowing she had this one chance to make him believe in her forgiveness.

"Kakashi, no matter what your feelings are towards me, I still love you. Take that any way you want, and even if you don't believe that, a part of me will always love you. I never want you to think I want you to suffer. You may have done me wrong, but my actions were my own just as yours were. So please, stop trying to kill yourself, because I can't be happy unless you are. I've accepted the fact that you don't want me in your life, but if that's the case, then that includes any guilt concerning me. If there was anything I needed to forgive you for, I forgave you before I left. Because I left for me, not because of you. So please, do whatever makes you happy, find someone to love, have kids if that's what you want, but be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you, Kakashi. Because I will always be your friend."

Kristen sat back to indicate she had spoken her piece, awaiting his reaction. The Sharingan stayed glued to her a moment longer, as if he were looking for reassurance for her feelings.

"You still love me?"

His Sharingan caught the minute movement of her eye muscles as she started to turn her eyes away before she caught herself, forced herself to look at him.

"Yes."

He snapped his eye shut and looked at her with his one open eye, taking her hands in his.

"So what does that mean, Kris? Are you wanting to give us another try? Because you can't just say that you forgive me and expect everything to be ok." His words were gentle, as though he were giving her bad news and was trying to break it to her gently. She could only respond with a sad smile, thinking absently that her promise not to go home upset as hell was going to be broken, and that Ryuku was going to be pissed.

"Kakashi, I know that just as much as you. It's been four years, and we aren't the same people anymore. It's too much to even think we could be good friends. Right now I'd settle for being able to pass you by on the street and call you by your first name and not your clan name. After that… well, if you want, we can just take it a day at a time. If we can be friends, then we will be. I don't have any expectations for either of us, the only thing I wanted from you today was to know that you'll be ok eventually. Anything else I get in the future is a bonus, that's all. You have your life and personal commitments and I have a permanent mission as an on-call ronin."

Kakashi gave her a scrutinizing look.

"You know about that?"

She could tell he was uncertain, and even though that had not been what she meant by that comment, she did NOT want to talk about his sex life with him.

"I know about what? What are you talking about?" She did her best to sound clueless, praying to Kami he bought it, but of course life was not that kind to her.

To his credit, he showed no reaction, shame, embarrassment, or otherwise.

"You know about Genma." This time it was a statement.

"Yes, but we've just established that as we are not together or even friends anymore, your social life has nothing to do with me, so there's no need for me to have an opinion, and honestly it's easier for me if I don't."

"So it bothers you that after our break up, I turned to men. Yes, I could see how that could hurt, looking at it like that."

Somehow she had ended up completely on the defensive in the conversation, and no matter how much she wished she had the will power to stop herself, she could not help but pull her hands out of his and off his knees, scooting herself back until her personal space was safe. He gave her a sad smile.

"I'm sorry. We tried to keep it out of the rumor mill, but it's impossible."

"Oh, I didn't get it from the rumor mill." Having seen it as her chance to put him on the defensive, she stood and made sure she was in view of the living room window.

"Genma has a very nice ass."

Kakashi paled alarmingly and cradled his head in his hands.

"Oh Kami, it was you that night. I thought… It's not what you think, Kris. And I never wanted you find out, much less by actually seeing us. I'm so sorry you saw that, I can't imagine how you felt."

Kristen shrugged nonchalantly.

"Doesn't matter. None of my business."

"Maybe not now, but if you and I are going to be friends, then it is going to have to come up sometime. I would rather explain it now than have you wonder about it for however long it takes for us to work on our friendship, Kris."

"I'm bi as well, Kakashi. I of all people won't judge."

"Please, Kris. Give me two minutes to explain, for my own peace of mind."

She had been in the middle of signaling Naruto before clenching her fist.

_Here's where I prove that I am an emotional masochist._

"Fine. I just don't know why. You don't have to explain yourself to me, Kakashi."

"I think I do. I actually found out before we even started dating that the only woman I can even get it up for is you. So when you left, there was no point in trying to date a woman, so after two years I figured you weren't coming back. If I couldn't do anything with a woman, that only left guys, and the only one I trust with this is Genma. He doesn't mind, and neither of us are in it for anything other than to relieve stress, so it suits us just fine."

"Uh, ok. I'm glad you told me. That's actually very personal information" She quickly gave the signal. "I don't know whether I should apologize for limiting your possibilities or feel flattered. Should… I be feeling one of them? I kinda need you to tell me how you want me to take it because this is all new territory for me."

A knock at the door broke their tension and gave them both a chance to put off the awkward conversation. When Kakashi answered the door, Naruto stood there in his ANBU uniform, his face covered by his fox mask. Without acknowledging Kakashi, he relayed orders for her to report to the Hokage tower before disappearing. Kakashi continued to hold the door open while she put on her sandals on, gently grabbing hold of the back of her arm before she stepped out of his apartment.

"You should feel flattered. Just because I can't undo any of the stupid mistakes I made with us, that doesn't mean I don't wish I could every single day. I don't know if there's a chance for us to work again, but you can't blame me for wishing for it."

Kristen kept her face forward, but let a smile creep onto her features before grunting.

"See you 'round, Kashi." That one use of her pet name for him was all she needed to say.

"I think you will, Vanilla."

She was gone.


	4. Sakura's decision and new brothers

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, we all they don't belong to us, because if they could, it would be the catfight from Hell. I lay odds 3 to 1 on myself.

Please review, it's good karma, and you can never have too much good karma. Just like chocolate. That, and I could always use more inspiration.

CH 4

Kristen roamed around the village, half-heartedly pissed off. Once Ryuku and Naruto had met, they had quickly booted her from the apartment, Ryuku telling her that they needed time to 'gossip like two old maids' before slamming the door in her astonished face. So she had found herself wandering through the market district with a handful of money and an unknown amount of time to kill. Kristen sincerely wished she was on the mission roster, but the Hokage has decided to withhold that from her until she was up to her necessary weight.

Which was odd, because during their discussion about Ryuku, the Hokage had been adamant that they resume mission status after a week, right? Ok, maybe not adamant, but she had given them only a week. It was almost two since Ryuku had arrived, and she was eager for something to do. She could only imagine how quickly Ryuku was burning through the short list of pleasure houses he had managed to find. Soon he would have to branch out into bars.

So why was she being restricted? She watched people walking down the dusty street, noting easily which women were kunoichi and civilian. Kunoichi all appeared to have about five percent body fat, somewhere in the gray area between too lean and too addicted to working out. Which was exactly the way she appeared, because like all other kunoichi, part of every day was devoted to maintaining her many skills necessary for being a ninja. So if it was ok for them, why was it not ok for her?

Too distracted to walk and think at the same time (many of the blonde jokes she remembered drifting through her mind with a snicker), she settled herself down on the nearest bench to think.

_If I'm too lean for their purposes, what are their purposes? Hokage said she wanted me back to my original weight, which is considered fat for a shinobi, especially a kunoichi, so why would she want me fat? It has nothing to do with Akira, and it can't be for a mission when you can just henge yourself fat-looking, so what would she need me to do that would require me to have more meat on my bones th- _

_Oh shit. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck._

_No, wait, let's not jump to conclusions. It doesn't make sense that the council would be patient enough to let me run around on my own for three years if they still had plans for me and Kashi. There's a limit to how much can be planned, and there's no way even that one guy Shika-something could manipulate both of us so far in the future without knowing me. Even if they intercepted my letters to Naruto, it still wouldn't give them enough insight on me to play me. And it would be stupid to keep me as a contingency, because they had no way of knowing what would happen when I got back. I mean, sure, the old farts are malicious bastards, but they wouldn't bet on a slim chance that's just now coming back to the village, would they? As far as they know, Kakashi wants nothing to do with me, and I left to get away from him, and because I had to come back sometime, there's no reason to assume it would be because I missed him. _

_Sigh._

_I could toss this around all day and not figure it out. It just doesn't make sense that they would still want me to be his baby factory. They have to know by now that the whole reason we broke up was because we found out about them in the first place, so any more meddling they do would be completely asinine. There has to be some other reason, something medical or something. _

A shake of the head.

_Don't worry about it, just get the weight back so we can go on missions and have something to do. _

Satisfied that even if the answer was still unknown, it didn't matter because it was not the evil-old-men one, she resumed her meandering with a final nod of assurance to herself, just in case.

And ran into the one person she never wanted to see again.

Sakura.

------------------

_It had been a few days since everything had been brought out in the open, and Naruto had taken her to lunch. She was still a little shaken about the truths of her existence, still waiting for a simple answer to her yes or no question, an answer that quickly becoming the focus of her waking thoughts._

_Ramen sounded like a great distraction._

_She sat at the counter, watching Naruto fondly as he inhaled enough ramen to make the stack of empty bowls lean perilously to one side. Kristen was still nibbling at hers, trying to make it look like she was eating when she really wasn't. A loud belch let her know he was done, and she couldn't keep the proud smile from her face at the disgusted sounds from the other customers._

"_Kris? I need to tell you something."_

_It was the hesitance in his voice that made her stomach drop, her weak hunger dead and gone._

"_Is this a conversation we can have here, or at the monument?" _ Just how bad is whatever you're going to tell me?

"_Somewhere in-between. We don't have a spot for that, so training grounds, maybe?"_

_She nodded and pushed her uneaten bowl of ramen in front of him. He frowned, but refrained from saying anything, knowing he was responsible for her lack of appetite. The bowl was emptied in seconds and their meals paid for. Kristen followed him without another word, wrapping her arm around his. Kristen was fond of doing that in public, because even though it had become common knowledge that they considered each other siblings, there was still the occasional glare and disgusted glance to laugh at. It was a constant source of amusement for her to be living in such a reserved culture, sister to a loud man who often forgot the meaning of personal space, and be shacking up with a pervert. Naruto held onto her hand with his free hand, escorting her to the training grounds like a perfect gentleman. They chose the first unclaimed ground they found and settled on the grass._

_Naruto stared at the ground for a moment, and she gave him time. She knew he had the hardest time starting difficult conversations, something they both had in common. Sometimes it was difficult to figure out the right words to say, sometimes it was just stalling for time._

"_You told me once that you never held it against Kaka-sensei for stalking and kidnapping you, because he had no choice; he was just doing his job. That it wasn't fair to hold it against him because it wasn't personal, and he wasn't the one really responsible for everything at the end of the day. Do you remember that?"_

"_Yeah."_

_Her mind wanted to analyze every possible direction the conversation could take based on the starting point he had given her, wanted to prepare herself for each eventuality, but she forced herself to stay focused on him. She didn't want to miss a look on his face or a single word with its' nuances, because she would be going over those later. She had a feeling it was one of those 'come to terms with it later, act normal now' kinds of conversations._

"_Well, there's something else I read in the report about Wonderland, something I didn't tell Kakashi. I couldn't."_

_Again, she held her tongue patiently, seeing how hard he was struggling to physically make his mouth move to form sounds. She automatically grabbed a hand to comfort him, squeezing it in both of hers. Naruto clenched his eyes shut and squeezed her hands almost painfully._

"_I know who specifically chose you as the best candidate for Kakashi. It was Sakura."_

_And she froze._

How the fuck am I supposed to feel about that? Oh, Naruto, you're good. I can't hold it against her because I didn't hold it against Kakashi. There's just one problem with that. It was her direct action that made this happen to me. She chose me. Fuck. She chose me based on her personal knowledge of Kashi. Who is indirectly the reason this was going to happen to somebody. And she probably was acting on the council's orders. So do I blame Sakura for being the person to have chosen me, or do I blame Kakashi for being the cause? Is it everyone's fault or no one's?

Yeah, like I'll ever figure that out. Fuck this.

"_Kris? You ok? You haven't said anything for like five minutes? You're kinda scaring me, say something."_

_Kristen let go of his hand, surprised when her fingers were reluctant to straighten out. Apparently she had spaced out for a few minutes, as her thought process hadn't taken up too much time. She grimaced at the stiff pain from her fingers, using the back of one hand to straighten out the fingers of the other against her leg._

"_Sorry, I guess I kinda checked out for a minute. I didn't mean to hurt your hand. Or scare you." _

_Naruto shook his hand a few times, letting the blood flow back into it before helping her hands flex into full motion, rubbing her fingers briskly to get her blood circulating as well. Her fingers still kept trying to curl back into the position the muscles had gotten used to, so he absently manipulated the muscles of her hands and forearms as he talked._

"_It's ok. The fact that you kept squeezing tighter meant you were thinking, I was just wondering if I'd have to flag someone down to get me dinner tonight and bring it back." His short moment of humor over, he sighed at the sight of her fake smile. "I know you and Sakura aren't really each other's kind of people, I just don't want you to take it out on her when you wouldn't on Kakashi. You deserve to know something this important, I just want you to be fair. You know she had no idea what your government was going to do, she probably didn't know anything other than she was given files to choose from. Man, you've had a bad week, huh, sis?"_

_The laugh that came out of her ended as more of a choked sob than a laugh, and he looked up at her quickly to see a second of mortification before she crumpled. Sobs came out quicker than her lungs could keep up with, and she was eventually crying between desperate breaths that bordered on hyperventilation. Naruto yanked her into his lap and crushed his arms around her, forcing her to take even and shallow breaths. He listened to her try to calm herself down, wondering why this news would have her falling apart so badly. Yes, it was bad, but he thought she was taking it a little hard. Perhaps it was just too much for her to handle in one week, too much of the past trying to ruin her present._

_Kristen had been breathing calmly for a few minutes, the breath on his neck warm and deliberately even, as though she were counting out her breathing pattern silently._

"_If I tell you a secret, can we never talk about it again?" Her voice was a whisper, as though she believed it would bring about the end of the world if she spoke too loudly._

"_I promise."_

_A shaky sigh showed how tenuously she was holding onto her tears._

"_Kashi is going to leave me. He already has, he just doesn't know it yet. It's already done, and there's nothing I can do about it."_

"_How do you know? You know Kakashi, he's kind of a baka when it comes to relationship stuff. He just needs a little time to think things over. It'll be ok, Kris."_

"_No, it won't." The way she sounded like a child, the words almost… sing-songed… it sent a chill down his back. "I can't tell you how I know because I'm not ready to talk about it. I might never be. But this will turn bad. I've already done this hell once and I'm going to be put through it again. And I'm weak enough that I'll let it happen and hope it turns out differently this time. But it won't. And I don't think this one will come back."_

_The tears came again, but they were quiet, almost gentle, and it was clear that she was mourning something, even though he had no idea what. None of what she said had made sense to him, other than the fact that she believed things would get bad and he would leave her. Having no idea what to say to dissuade her or make it better, Naruto simply held her and listened to her whimper her pain. Her tears felt like ice running down his neck and chest._

"Uchiha-san, how are you?"

"Kristen-san, it's good to see you back. I hope you are well."

"I'm still breathing." She found it strange to look at the person who had chosen her, who had been the reason the hell Kristen had been living in had been exchanged for another. Kristen strangely felt nothing, no emotions toward the woman, and felt it was best for it to stay that way. That meant no contact. She knew herself well enough to know that Sakura was a subject best left alone, lest her apathy fail her.

Sakura looked a little unsure at the curt and somewhat pessimistic answer, and floundered for a polite response.

"Look, Sakura-san, I'm not the type of person you choose to spend time with, and you aren't mine, either. I don't have a problem with you, you're just not my kind of people, and there's nothing wrong with that. We never really spent any time together, and even though I honestly don't hold it against you in any way, you were the one who decided I was the best choice for Kakashi. Because of that my fiancée was killed and I was made to have a good time with a few men while my fiancée's body was still warm." Kristen refused to feel guilty for enjoying the look of horror on Sakura's face, because it never hurt anyone to try and think beyond the immediate consequences to their actions. She also felt she was owed that moment of guilt; a lot of people owed her their guilt for his death. "That was not your fault, and I would never hold it against you, but I think it would be easier for both of us to keep it at waving at each other across the street. Don't you think?"

When all Sakura gave her was a shocked nod, Kristen respectfully bowed and walked away, willing her feet to not rush, or run as they so desperately wanted. She knew she had been borderline-rude, but the older she got, the less tact she felt obligated to fake. Besides, she had just given Sakura all the motivation in the world to avoid her, and that was not a bad thing in her book.

"Stupid little Miss-perfect-my-hair-is-so-shiny-and-my-life-turned-out-just-the-way-I-wanted, prissy, one-the-popular-kids-in-school stereotype." It was a weak grumble that expelled the little bit of anger that had surfaced during their short conversation, but it was enough for her to let it go. One less person she had to know and go through the pleasantries with, those stupid, civilized motions people expected of you.

_Bitterness. Population: Kristen. Man, Ryuku's right; I do need to get laid. Christ. I wish._

_That's it, I don't care if they're halfway through fixing my life and have figured out how to get me a happy-ever-after and a million dollars, I'm going home. They can go somewhere else to talk about me. I got nothing to do, so I'm sleeping the day away in peace._

They both sat across from each other with a beer in hand, looking at the other person, curious.

"So you're her brother?"

"Yep. Not by blood, but that doesn't change anything. How long you been with her?"

"Little over a year. My parents had a farm, and when they got older I had to go back to help them work it. Kristen was contracted to get rid of some bandits that kept robbing us and our neighbors for the past few years, but I guess she wasn't told how many of them there really were. She spent about a month recovering. They had killed my parents the year before, and I hated being a farmer, so when she gave me the chance to get out with a little money in my pocket, I took it. Been with her since."

"You love her?"

Ryuku gave him a level gaze over the end of his beer bottle.

"She's my best friend, and we've been through some bad shit together. I'm not in love with her, but yeah, I love her."

This seemed good enough for Naruto, who gave him a short nod.

"Ok, so how's she really doing?"

Ryuku gave a sigh before downing the rest of his beer in one big gulp. Naruto handed him another silently.

"Fuck, I don't know. Coming here has messed her up. I don't know anything about what happened right before she left, or what happened after she left and before she met me, but being back here has changed her. I don't know how much you know, or what I'm allowed to tell you."

"She won't tell you why she left?"

"No, and trust me, it's an old argument with us. Whatever it was, it's like she's stopped, and even though she goes through the motions and does our missions, most of her is still stuck there, with whatever happened. And because she won't tell me a damned thing, I don't know how to help her." He blew another breath out through his nose and looked at Naruto, dead serious. "I think she's coming apart, a little."

"Fuck." Naruto rubbed his face with both hands, staring blindly at the table for a few seconds before looking up.

"Alright, I'll tell you what happened, and you tell me the stuff you don't know that she'd want you to tell me. We pretend we know only what we know now, and she never finds out about this conversation, agreed? Because we'd be lucky if she only killed us."

"Agreed. You first. I need background on this damned Hatake thing."

Naruto took a long pull of his beer and cleared his throat.

"Ok. You have to understand that there's a lot of stuff even I don't know about her past, things Hatake does. Stuff I probably don't want to know. I don't know where she's actually from, but I'm sure you've noticed that she is definitely not from around here. Or anywhere close by."

"That would explain all the jokes and references she makes that I NEVER understand."

"Yeah, she does that to me and Kakashi too. She had a fiancée. But our council decided that Kakashi's lineage was too valuable to go to waste, so they did all this stuff to determine what kind of woman he would want, like for a wife. When they figured out that it wasn't someone they would find here, they… outsourced. To wherever Kris used to live. My teammate, Sakura, was the one that chose Kris based on her file. I guess there were several choices. So Kris's government had her fiancée killed, and our council sent Kakashi to get her. She was trained to be a kunoichi, because I guess there are no ninja where she came from. I don't know all the details, because I only saw one report that I wasn't supposed to see in the first place, so I don't know how her fiancée died or what happened when Kakashi got her. She'd been here maybe six months or a year before I met her, and I could tell that they both loved each other, Kakashi was just being…"

Naruto stood up and paced a few steps into the kitchen for another beer. He came back to the table and sat down, but didn't touch his beer.

"You have to understand. Kakashi lost everyone he ever cared about when he was younger, and the circumstances weren't pretty. He keeps everyone away so he won't get hurt again, at least he did until my team. It's a habit, probably a lot of self-preservation, so he fought Kristen hard. She'd been assigned to stay with him while he trained her to be a ninja, I guess to help her get used to our culture. But she got too close and he freaked out, used an excuse to get her an apartment that just so happened to be in my building, and basically passed her off to me. It took them months to get together, and I basically had to kick him in the ass to get him going, but when they finally got it, it was good. I mean, I was very jealous of how happy they made each other, and I've never seen Kakashi that happy in my life. He was hanging out with us more, she just seemed to make him a better person, who he would have been if maybe that stuff from his past hadn't happened. And then I found that report and told Kakashi, and everything fell apart."

Naruto had been meticulously scraping the label off the bottle, but he looked up at Ryuku, who was shocked to see how wet Naruto's eyes were.

"If I hadn't said anything, if I had just kept my mouth shut, they'd still be together and happy. Because once Kakashi found out the whole point of killing her fiancée, making him go get her and train her, it was all just a plan to make them fall in love and get married so he would have kids and keep his clan going, well, it was done. Not right away, because Kris fought hard, but Kakashi just couldn't get his head out of his ass. He was convinced that they had been manipulated into everything, so that meant that he and Kris meant nothing. I watched her wait for him for over a year to decide what he wanted, watched him hide from her when he couldn't deal with it. And I guess one day she'd had enough, because I started to see less and less of her. Oh, she had good reasons, always a very real and truthful explanation; she had missions, she was sparring with someone she'd met through someone else, I needed to spend more time with Hinata. My wife and I were still dating back then. Kris was good; she did it so gradual that no one else noticed, not my other teammates, and not Kakashi. Pretty soon I was the only person, literally the only person in this village she talked to, and she tried to cut me out. I wouldn't let her, but she tried. Then one day she makes me hike up to the Hokage monument and tells me she's leaving on this mission that's been floating around for months because no one wanted to take it. It was a long-term, open-ended recon into several lands. It was very vague, and very shadow op, with no hope of backup. Not something most would want to take. So she told me she was leaving the next day, that she figured she'd be gone for two years, but if she found a place that she was really needed, she would go missing-nin and take a chance on being happy as a civilian. What with me being the only one who still cared about her, there was really no way I could argue. She was so unhappy, and seeing us and his friends was probably killing her. So she left."

"Has he regretted leaving her?"

Naruto picked up his beer and looked into it.

"Only every single day since the day he realized she was gone."


	5. Say goodnite Kris

Ok ,so I'm totally sorry for taking so freaking long, but my work is largely seasonal, and it's been the season for the last four months. I'll try to get them out faster, but for now they're just stuck in my head.

Ch 5

The summon came in the middle of the night, and she was alone; Ryuku had gone out with Naruto for a guys' night out and she did not expect him until later the next day.

She was awake before the masked shinobi had landed on her window sill, her eyes expectantly trained on it. Those short seconds were all she needed to be fully awake and apprehensive. She was not cleared for active duty, so it was not a mission summon she was receiving.

The shinobi handed her the summon and quickly disappeared, though she spared him not even a first glance. Her attention was on the scroll that she irrationally wanted to leave unopened. Not that it was an option, but she doubted being woken up in the middle of the night for anything other than a mission was good. With Ryuku out getting laid, no one would know she was being summoned, or by whom.

The seal on the scroll cracked open easily, and none of the words made sense to her, they seemed to run together. Except for the ones detailing who were responsible for summoning her: the council.

Knowing herself as she did, she kept all the panic-induced scenarios to a minimum, as whatever was going to happen had already started. That's what she told herself, though it only helped a little.

-------------

Kris did not even need to use her chakra to feel the mood of the room she was escorted into. She instantly knew it was bad.

The room was small and had no windows. It looked to be a small conference room built for security; there was nothing but bare walls, wood floor, and a small table big enough for three chairs to be lined up on one side. On that side, a man and a woman who looked old enough to keel over at any moment were huddled on one side. Not huddled so much, as the Hokage was trying to put as much space between herself and the other two as possible. Indeed, the Hokage looked to be barely on the civil side of enraged, her normally severe expression tightened into homicidal.

It was very obvious that her rage was directed at the other two occupants of the table, who were doing very accurate impressions of cranky children kept up past their bedtime.

"We demand an update on the status of your relationship with Hatake Kakashi." The command came from the old lady.

"I'm sorry, but what? What relationship? I think we've had six or seven conversations since I got back. Any relationship I had with Hatake-san was dead years ago. Why is the council curious about my personal life? "

"It is not your place to question the council or their need for information concerning individuals falling under their jurisdiction!", the old geezer bellowed.

It took an effort, but she was able to keep the sigh mental.

"With all due respect, it's very early. I'm not awake, and I haven't had enough sleep to play the political game. This will go a lot faster if you speak plainly about what you want."

"Very well. We have allowed you to laze about the village for the past few months in the hopes that you would pursue rekindling your past relationship with Hatake Kakashi. This has not been the case. Therefore, we have a few questions before coming to a decision."

It was impossible to miss the 'burn in hell and die' look that Tsunade threw the old crow, so Kris rightfully assumed the old lady was at the very least the spokeswoman of them all, if not the one in charge.

"A decision? A decision about what?"

"We were unable to learn exactly why you broke up with Hatake; justify your reasons for turning down one of our finest shinobi."

"I'm sorry, but why in the hell do you think you have the right to demand to know something so personal?! The council, unless I am mistaken, does not have jurisdiction over any shinobi's personal life. Not to mention the fact that I don't discuss that stuff on principle. It's my business and mine alone." Kris was working herself into a self-righteous snit, but a flick of the crow's finger was the only warning she had before agony spread through her kidneys. She could feel the separate strikes to each side, but she had not even been aware there were shinobi in the room and therefore had not been prepared to be struck. It took a few seconds for her body to obey her commands to straighten up, but when she did, there was a stillness about her. As though being attacked had left her with a sense of complete calmness.

"I did not end the relationship; Hatake-san and I became aware of Wonderland, and it was his belief that because everything had been manipulated by you, anything that had happened between us was the direct result of your manipulation and therefore void. The paranoia of shinobi being as it is. I stuck around for a year before taking off on a long-term mission trying to salvage even a friendship with him. So allow me the opportunity of saying thank you for ruining my life. Twice."

The crow flicked her finger again, and even though Kris knew what was coming, she made no move to tense up her muscles to protect her body. Even during the few seconds she required before she could confidently rise from a heap on the ground, her expression remained strangely at peace.

"Is this really necessary? You're treating one of our own kunoichi like she should be interrogated by Ibiki for having boyfriend problems!"

"Tsunade, we granted your request to give the matter time in the hopes it would resolve itself naturally, but as that has not worked it is our turn to use our methods. Remember that she is only technically under your jurisdiction, subject to our approval at all times. The matter is ours to handle as we see fit."

Tsunade silently snarled at the old man, but sat back in her seat and fixed her gaze on the table in front of her.

"We demand to know how you gained classified knowledge of Wonderland? This is a serious breach of security, and the person responsible must be held accountable. Who told you about Wonderland?"

"That is one question I will not answer no matter what. Their intentions were not malicious, and they already feel the burden of being the one who told us. They have unnecessarily assumed guilt for breaking us up, so I see no point in letting you make their life even more miserable than it already is. They discovered it by accident and Hatake-san and I were the only ones they told. The information is contained to the three of us; I have not even told Ryuku in the interests of security."

"You are firm in this decision to withhold information?"

"Yes."

Tsunade met her eyes knowingly, and Kris knew it had only taken her a second to figure out who 'they' was.

"Very well." The crow shot a quick glance at the old man, who nodded once in agreement.

"Kristin Pierce, we find you to be a shinobi who has failed to fulfill her purpose. You are neither working towards the aim of providing the village with valuable offspring to further the Hatake bloodline nor cleared for mission status to finance the village and its' needs. Therefore, you have three options, and you will choose one of them. One: you will immediately pursue a relationship with Hatake and make reasonable progress towards providing him with an heir within the year. Two: you will submit to having your chakra bound and we will arrange for a civilian marriage for you, as your value as a shinobi is average at bes-"

All signs of her previous calm had vanished at the mention of marriage.

"That's it! You know, I think I've been pretty reasonable about all this. You are the reason the love of my life was killed, you have me brought to this place and force me into service, which I have loyally done for years without complaint. You cost me Hatake because of your own meddling, and now you want to take away the ability I have had since I was a kid and marry me off to some stranger to be stuck pumping out his kids and working some shit job until I get old and die?! Fuck that! You give me options that you know can't be done! I can't get back into a relationship with Hatake because you are the cause for us breaking up in the first place. He will spend the whole time wondering if this is another attempt at you manipulating him into having kids for your stupid expectations of his bloodline! You are the reason it will never work, and I refuse to try and manipulate him, because then I would be no better than you!!"

The old crow sat back in her chair with a triumphant look on her wrinkled face, and Kris felt chills run down her back. The old woman had the look of a plan that had just turned out perfectly.

"Very well. As you have found your first two options to be insufficient, you are sentenced to option three. Kristen Pierce, shinobi of Konoha, you are sentenced to be assigned to ROOT under the guidance of Danzo-san until you see fit to divulge the identity of the leak of classified information _and_ agree to provide Hatake Kakashi with children to further his bloodline. You will be under Danzo's direct authority, second only to our own. Given the indication in your psychological profile that state you are prone to extreme courses of action when you feel it is justified, your sentence will begin immediately."

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than hands were wrenching Kris' arms behind her back almost to the point of dislocating them. She instinctively arched her back to gain relief, but her arms were drawn back even tighter until she went limp.

"We would not want to give you the opportunity to flee, much less force us to take any necessary action against those you care about to force you to come back."

"Ryuku and Uzumaki know I'm not cleared for mission status; they'll know something is wrong. You won't be able to explain the fact that I've just disappeared."

"Oh, but we can. Your services as ronin were needed immediately, and as Ryuku was not available at the time, you were forced to leave without him. You will be gone for months, possibly years, so while it may seem unusual that you are not communicating with them this time, Tsunade will be able to reassure them as to your relative safety. Hopefully she will not have to lie to her shinobi for long to cover for your stubbornness. We know you have feelings for Hatake, it will not be hard to accept a life with him. And you will accept that eventuality, or you will never see the outside world again. ROOT is a self-sustaining entity in the village with no need for contact for most of its' members; no need to pack before you go, as everything will be provided to you. Think about the cost of your stupid pride during your sentence; you are the only one determining the length of it."

"No, you ask for the impossible and hold me accountable. How could you possibly expect me to make Kaka-"

"We've heard enough. Take her to Danzo."

The two shinobi drug her to the door, and all she had time to do was make eye contact with Tsunade and yell a quick request that she take care of her boys. Kris was out of the door and into the night air before she heard Tsuande's answer.


	6. How much do you really love her?

I know it's been a very long time, and I'm very sorry to all of you, but I've had artist's block.

Hope it's gone for good, fingers crossed.

Ch 6

Six months had gone by without any word, and Tsunade was seriously considering banning Naruto from her office. He came by at least once a week to pester her and wonder out loud why she wasn't sending him word as she had last time.

Tsunade honestly did not know how long she could keep stalling him; if Naruto got even a hint that something wasn't right, she knew he wouldn't care who he had to go through to find her, the council be damned. Not like they were his favorite people in the world in the first place. To make matters worse, Naruto had been able to convince Ryuku that something was amiss, and even though he tread lightly due to his tentative status, he was no less concerned and adamant in his belief that Kris' absence of communication was telling.

It was after one such visit from the two men that Tsunade was leaning back in her chair, cradling a much needed sake in her hands and letting her eyes remain unfocused on the ceiling.

"Shizune, I don't know how much longer I can keep them convinced she is out on assignment. If Kris doesn't give in, then I may be forced to declare her missing and assumed dead in the field."

"Surely it's a bit soon to declare her missing? Given her assignment, and the fact that Naruto thinks she is giving regular updates, shouldn't you wait a few more months? If she is as stubborn as you say she is, she could hold out for years before giving in to the council's demands."

Tsunade sighed and stood up, rubbing her tired eyes and placing her cup on the desk.

"It doesn't really matter. If she waits too long, her chances of fertility will not be enough to be worth bargaining with. They'll have no need for her in any capacity and she will be disposed of. Whether I declare her missing and eventually dead now or a year from now, she will eventually have to be declared dead, and Danzo will get rid of her to make sure no one finds out where she has been. I doubt she will give into their demands, if nothing else to protect Naruto, so all I am doing is prolonging her suffering. The only future she has is with Kakashi, and it seems as though he is very clear on that never happening, so why not put her out of her misery now instead of later? You know as well as I do that Danzo makes Ibiki look like an innocent; who knows what they have been doing to her?"

"So you really intend to declare her missing? You have no hope of finding a loophole or something, anything, Tsunade-sama?"

"No." It was barely a whisper, but it was still enough to carry out into the open windows that surrounded the outside-facing walls of the room, where Naruto and Ryuku were crouched for only a second before disappearing.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKk

It was six long weeks of completing missions in record time, of watching Kakashi's apartment in shifts, of not knowing what was being done to their 'sister', of knowing they were running out of time once Kris had been officially declared missing, before one day Kakashi strolled back into the village from his mission. As usual, instead of immediately reporting to the Hokage, he spent time at the memorial before meandering back to his home, anticipating a hot shower and a night'sleep on his own mattress. What he did not expect was to be in the middle of his shower and have Naruto and Ryuku, someone he didn't know at all personally, barge into his bathroom. He had known the moment they stepped inside, as they made no attempt to use stealth, but he was shocked that they had the nerve to walk into the room as though it was a common occurrence.

If he hadn't recognized Naruto's chakra, he would have sent the kunai he had stashed behind his shampoo at them.

With his usual lack of decorum, Naruto pulled the shower curtain back and looked Kakashi dead in the eye, paying no attention to his nudity. Ryuku, however, had no such qualms and was casually inspecting from safely behind Naruto. If he had any judgements either way, they didn't register in his expression. Naruto's, however, showed a seriousness seldom seen inside the village walls.

"Kakashi, get dressed. Kris's in trouble."

With that cliffhanger, they both evacuated the room and waited in the living room. Fifty seven seconds was all Kakashi needed to be dry and dressed. Naruto was pacing in the living room while Ryuku stood in front of a window, gazing absently outside.

"What's going on, Naruto?"

"She hasn't been gone as a ronin. She hasn't even left the village. Danzo has her."

Ryuku turned his head to the side just enough to catch the split-second that Kakashi became dead still before regaining his calm. Despite the circumstances, Ryuku let a tiny smile grace his face, but was sure to erase it before he turned around to join the conversation.

"Start from the beginning, Naruto."

Naruto nodded before locking gazes with Kakashi, his blue eyes dull from worry and stress. A quick glance at Ryuku showed matching baggy eyes, evidence that neither one of them had been sleeping lately.

"Neither of us ever believed she would have left without saying goodbye or at least leaving a note. If she left and was going to be gone for a long time, she would have needed to pack, right? Ryuku would know better than anyone if any of her stuff was gone, and he said every single piece of clothes and weapon she owned were still there. So it would seem like she never went home first. Who goes on a mission without taking their equipment?"

"Perhaps there wasn't time. She always keeps more weapons on her person that most people pack for an entire mission, so it wouldn't be entirely unreasonable to assume she could have left immediately with emergency packs that are kept at ANBU for that reason." It was a stretch, he knew, but it wasn't out of the range of possibilities, and he was eager to prove that she was fine. She was fine.

"There's one problem with that theory, Hatake-san. Living together so long, and her being my shishou, we divided up the daily chores. Daily maintenance of every single weapon owned by the both of us has always been my responsibility, first as part of my training and later because I was used to doing it. She has always let me know of any changes in our armory so nothing is neglected; I know exactly how many weapons we have and how many of each kind. I did an inventory, and only one kunai is missing. One. If you know her half as well as Naruto says you do, you know that she has more than one kunai on her to take a pee. She would not willingly leave without being armed; she told me she feels naked without them."

Not willing to give Kakashi a chance to come up with anymore faults in that argument, Naruto quickly spoke up.

"I know it seems lame, but she hasn't sent us one message either. It's been almost eight months, and all we have as proof that she is alive and **well **is Baa-chan's."

"And why would the word of the Hokage not be enough for you, Naruto?"

"Because we heard her tell Shizune otherwise." Kakashi lazily put his book into his back pocket, knowing they were at the point of the whole conversation now, and he hadn't even been looking at the book anyway. Standing up from his slouch against the wall, he turned to Ryuku and gave him his full attention.

"What you're about to tell me is something you both heard?"

"Yes. Naruto and I have both been asking the Hokage about word from Kris every week for the last six months, so this time we decided to see if she would talk about Kris once we left. The Hokage was telling her assistant that she didn't know how much longer she could convince us Kris was outside the village before declaring her missing and eventually dead in the field. The assistant mentioned that Kris has been refusing demands that were made by the council. The Hokage said that if Kris doesn't give in within the next few years, she won't be as able to reproduce and will be no use to the council. She said that Danzo would dispose of her. Actually, she said that Kris will be disposed of either way, because she'd have to be declared missing and dead eventually, in which case they would have to kill her. The Hokage seems to have no hope of Kris giving into their demands. –"

"And why is that?" Kakashi cut in quickly.

"Because she's protecting me," Naruto whispered. "They somehow must know that we know, and if they demanded to know who told them, you know she would never give me up, Kakashi-sensei. This's all because I couldn't keep Wonderland to myself."

Naruto saw Kakashi's eyes flash to Ryuku.

"He already knows. Not everything, but the fact that she's not from around here. That her government killed her man and you were ordered to bring her here. That's all he knows."

Kakashi turned his single eye to Ryuku.

"It will only protect Kris to make sure you have no curiosity when it comes to Wonderland, and you take any knowledge you do have to the grave." The single nod he was given was enough to appease him, and he turned to attention back to Naruto.

"Naruto, you cannot keep blaming yourself for this. If anything, I am the one to blame. If I hadn't reacted the way I had, hadn't ended things with her, none of this would be happening."

"Oh, trust me, sensei, I know that. I'm not taking the full blame here, because the only one that is innocent in all this is Kris. That's why I expect you to fix this."

"Fix this? How? If she is under the authority of ROOT, then there is nothing I can do. Even my fellow ex-ANBU could legally intervene. If the Hokage has not been able to do anything for Kris, how am I supposed to?"

"Because the Hokage said you were the only way she could have a future. So I want you to do what you should have done in the first place and not let the council win. Who cares if they brought her over specifically for you? She loves you, and you loved her. Would it have really been all that bad to have even one kid with her?" Naruto sighed and his shoulders seemed to sag impossibly low, his conflicting emotions draining him. He had felt nothing but cold dread since they had eavesdropped, and he was desperate for Kakashi to get Kris back, desperate because he was the only one who could. Naruto knew Kakashi still loved her, but did he love her enough to give the council whatever they wanted to let her go? Naruto honestly did not know, and the uncertainty made his head ache.

Ryuku knew there was so much more Naruto had wanted to say to sway Kakashi, who appeared to be waiting for him to continue. Naruto seemed to have lost his voice, so Ryuku spoke up in his stead.

"Hatake-san, we know we are asking a lot of you, and if there were any other way we would have already attempted to appease the council. Unfortunately, you are the only one who can give them whatever it is that they want. We are asking you to do it so she doesn't end up dead. The Hokage declared her missing four weeks ago, so she may not have much longer before she is declared dead. The Hokage was very clear on the fact that once she is declared dead, she will be."

Kakashi leaned back against the wall, his fingers itching to take his beloved book out and have a few precious seconds to escape from reality. It was a lot to take in, and he wasn't going to chance taking days or even hours to make a decision that determined whether Kris would live or die. He took a deep breath and closed his eye, looking at the situation objectively. The council had Kris in a corner, and the Hokage was unable to do anything because the last word on Kris was and always would be the council. They wanted children, his children, and for whatever reason Kris was still their first choice in their little breeding program. If he gave them that, he would have to stay with Kris; if he left Kris after the baby was born, they could use their authority over her to demand the child into their care, and he would never condemn anyone much less his child into that situation.

It seemed as though he had no choice but to give in to their desires, and if he were to be completely honest, his own as well. He was not opposed to having children with her, he just wanted her.

Kakashi stood up from the wall and opened his eye, looking into the gaunt face of his former student.

"Don't worry, Naruto. I'll give the council what they want. I won't let anything happen to her."

Not knowing what else to say, and not feeling confident enough to be more specific with any other promises, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.


End file.
